There are several things to consider before finding an adoption agency or surrogate. Since you are relying 100 percent on someone else whom you do not know or related to, being extremely prepared and knowledgeable will help make the long process less stressful. It's sad but true, there are people out there who may try to take advantage of you so you need to be careful. If it sounds too good to be true, double and triple check – it may be!

Adoption

Adoption will never cure infertility, but it does cure child­less­ness and restores your happiness. After all you have been through in battling infertility; you deserve a successful adoption!

First let’s look at the types of adoption.

• Open: In this type of arrangement the birth parents are able to choose the adoptive parents. The birth parents decide how much information they want to know or share, and how much contact they want with the adoptive parents.
• Closed: In this type of arrangement the birth parents really do not know anything. They do not know who is adopting their child and they aren’t given any information about the birth parents.

So knowing which type of adoption you are comfortable with will determine which adoption agency you will pursue. You also need to determine if you are going to try to a domestic or international adoption.

Success in any venture of life requires education and hard work. Adoption is no excep­tion. If you decide to adopt, it is best to start with people you know and ask if they have any referrals they can give to you regarding agencies. Check with your infertility doctor or gynecologist, members of your church or neighborhood. Sometimes your attorney can help in finding a reputable adoption agency.

Secondly, gather as much information about the adoption agency you can – number of years in business, itemized list of charges, their contract, number of adoptions that particular agency has turned down and if you have chosen an international adoption – who travels to the orphanages and what are procedures are involved. You will want to know their things like eligibility criteria, pre-placement home study, pre- and post-adoption services, waitlist and related things that are being done as part of the agency's services. It is suggested to also inquire with the state you live in that the adoption agency is licensed by that particular state. Adoptive parents who fully educate them­selves about available options and work hard in applying prov­en techniques will almost always succeed—and succeed quickly. And always check references!

Surrogates

The primary location to find surrogate mothers and intended parents is the internet. There are a number of websites that allow anyone to post classified ads. Some sites provide this service free-of-charge while others will charge a fee. These ads can be very effective for surrogates and the intended parents to connect. Generally, most agencies will find surrogates and intended parents through their own website and classified ads. You will find that there are a lot of surrogate mothers and intended parents alike that have set up their own website explaining who they are, what they are looking for and how to contact them. These sites are very successful. Basically, they simply place the website’s address on various bulletin boards and in web classifieds.

There are two types of surrogates discussed here. Gestational surrogates are women who have an embryo transferred into them that is not genetically related to them and they will carry the baby/babies, delivery and relinquish the child to the intended family. Traditional surrogates are the biological mothers to the baby they conceive. They give birth and relinquish all parental rights. Choosing which route to take is one of the most important and earliest decisions a surrogate or intended parents through surrogacy will have to make. There are agencies who screen and recruit gestational carriers. One good recommendation is that you contact the national RESOLVE office to obtain a listing of programs or agencies that offer gestational carriers. Good choosing!